When you’re willing to stand in the center of your fear…
Not “face” it (because, let’s face it, it feels like part of you. If you could face it, as if it were another person or something outside of you, it would already be out of you and much easier to manage with, say, kung fu, perhaps)…
Perhaps instead of “facing fear” maybe we should look through its eyes occasionally. We get annoyed when someone won’t walk a block in our socks, much less a mile in our shoes. Why do we blind ourselves to that part of who we know we are?
But when you’re ready to just be in it, accept it:
- Without projecting it into anger or other-targeted (protective-projective) emotions
- Without attaching it to a story past or present or future that provides relief from the inner toddler’s persistent “Why?” or perceived safety from some fearsome “other” character…
- Without needing for it to be changed or different than it is…
- Without judging it or analyzing it or fixing it, just acknowledging, being curious…
When you’re ready to admit: “I’m terrified…”
Just fucking terrified.
- Of [whatever – fill in the blank].
- Of being loved or not loved.
- Of being right or not right.
- Of being stamped with disapproval or stamped with approval. Or stamped with approval by the wrong approvers. Or just stamped!
When you are ready to stand there, that is something. It’s not about anything outside of you. It’s all part of a complex balancing system within.
And once we stop projecting it out there, and recognize its natural habitation in our soul, then we can begin to realize that fear is part of love.
Fear lives in the house of love. It’s not a stranger knocking at the door.
Then we can begin to make decisions that are weighted towards love, rather than succumbing to the dead weight of fear. How can we change our everyday decisions, behavior, thoughts, beliefs, to weigh in with more love, less fear…?
We may try to convince ourselves that we are functioning from a state of “pure love.” Or just “love and light.” But is this really true? The energy of this rhetoric doesn’t keep fear at bay, it denies the existence of fear. And that is denying part of love.
When we can admit to ourselves that we are never free from fear and that we merely manage, on a good day, to outweigh it with love… This is when we begin to grow up.
Standing in the center of fear is standing in the center of love. Love is bigger. It always wins, just not with the same tactics or fanfare as fear.
True love doesn’t judge fear, or deny its existence, or refuse to house it.
Fear judges love, though, even for not judging fear.
More on that…